Break ups are never easy, but when you have been together for a number of years, perhaps you even got married and have a few kids, then a break up can be even more messy and heart breaking. How you handle the break up actually can dictate the way that the two of you will communicate in the aftermath of the break up. So this is why you need to try and end things as “good” as you possibly can. So here are a few suggestions for ways to end your long term relationship without coming across as a heartless monster.
Do It In Person
I am a believer if you are ending a relationship with someone that you should always do it, but this is especially true if you have been together for a long time. It may be tempting to do a runner in the night or when they are at work and just leave a note or send them a text message. This may sound easier, but it will make for a long and messy split. You need to sit them down, tell them things are not working and you want to break up. You need to be strong, but also sympathetic.
Be The Bigger Person
As much as I would like to say that most break ups happen and people just go off and that is that. Most of the time there can be some pretty hefty damage that is left behind. If you have kids, a home together or even a pet, then things can get very messy as you decide how to deal with these things. If they get mean and nasty then it can be so tempting to reciprocate with your own insults and mean words, but you need to be the bigger person and not stoop to their level. Walk away or just hang up the phone if they start to say bad things to you.
Be Reasonable With Your Possessions
No one person is entitled to everything and you are going to have to be willing to be reasonable when it comes to deciding who gets what. Do you really what the Star Wars box set? It may sound like a very silly thing to bring up, but you will need to work out who gets what. If there is something that you are really not that bothered about like say the DVD collection you two shared, then be the bigger person and say “hey you can have all the DVD’s as I know you like them”. This will make the “negotiating” process hopefully more smooth and not turn into a war.
Decide How To Tell Friends & Family
Hopefully once you break it off, things will not be so uncivil that you cannot talk about how you are going to tell the rest of your family and your friends as well. Decide that there will be no mudslinging and blaming each other for the break up. Try to come up with a way to just let people know it’s over and that you want to try and move on. At the very least you two should have a planned story for why you have broken up to tell your friends and family.
You might also find helpful this related article: Signs That You Must End Your Relationship